Friday, January 17, 2014

A Running Diary of Sam Querrey vs. Fabio Fognini When I Should Be Sleeping Instead


Hello, friends and readers of The Outer Courts -- Drew here, burning away the midnight oil. It's currently 3:00 a.m. in Kentucky and I have a decision to make... Do I go to bed so I'm moderately rested for that 9:00 a.m. breakfast date followed by a full 10-hour day of work with Kentucky Sports Radio? Or do I hold my eyelids open with scotch tape so I can watch Sam Querrey vs. Fabio Fognini in the third round of the Australian Open?

The answer is obvious. I attempt to watch Querrey vs. Fognini in its entirety because the Australian Open only comes around once a year. And I think I should do a running diary of the match, and my struggles to stay awake for it. Yeah, that sounds fun. Let's do this...

3:12 am

Tuned in to see Fabio Fognini walking out to the court. He looks like he has sunscreen on his face. Or maybe that's war paint. I think it's sunscreen. Rub that in, man.

My television tells me the current temperature is 27 C/81 F in Melbourne, much cooler than it has been all week. So that's good.

Now the players are warming up. There are very few things that are less exciting than watching Sam Querrey and Fabio Fognini warm up with no commentary, 9,500 miles away, when I should probably be sleeping.

3:20 am

Querrey serves first and holds.

We're really doing this, aren't we? No turning back now. I'm committed.

**Cracks open Red Bull**

3:27 am

Every time the camera cuts to a close up of Fabio, it makes me think about all the women he probably gets and all the ones I don't get.

And while trying to find the words to perfectly describe his cheek bones, Fabio double faults to give Querrey the early break.

3:31 am

It's starting to rain. We have a break in the action.

Really? This has to happen right now?

3:37 am

Play continues... Querrey serving, up a break. He recently said he feels like his serve is better than it has ever been right now and it's showing early in this one.

He takes the fifth game to go up 4-1, and with that, I'm going on a hunt to find more caffeine.

3:53 am

I'm back with more Red Bull, just in time for an important break point for Fognini. He trails Querrey 3-5 in the first set but can get back in it here.

And he does with a forehand winner.

4:00 am


Tennis is on the back burner right now as I focus on this Google search for "Fabio Fognini girlfriend."


She's OK, I guess. I'd probably say yes if she ever invited me to Tennis Channel's Sadie Hawkins dance.

4:03 am

Fognini just smashed his racket on the ground after a crucial unforced error while knotted up at 40-40 in the 11th set. It took a good bounce -- the racket, that is -- off the surface. A solid foot, I'd say.

He responds and breaks Querrey's serve again to go up 6-5. Things aren't looking good for the American here in the first set after a great start.

4:09 am

Fabio wins the first set after going down a break early on. Italy leads America, and I don't like that.

4:15 am

The rain is really coming down this time as the players head back to the locker room. I immediately regret everything about this idea.

The stadium announcer just told the crowd it shouldn't last long and they'll get the court dried as quickly as possible.

Define "quickly as possible," sir.  Asking for a friend.

4:25 am

Now we have an interview with Eugenie Bouchard to pass the time. She's pretty hot, eh? (Bad Canadian joke.)

Sorry. (Another bad Canadian joke.)

4:46 am

I count 18 people on their hands and knees drying off the court with towels. It's 2014; is this really the best way to dry off the court?

4:55 am

Welp. This is awkward and not how I expected things to go. Maybe I should've gone to bed instead.

8:12 am

Just woke up. Whoops. I guess I dozed off somewhere in the 5:00-5:30 am range. Tennis Channel tells me Querrey lost in straight sets, therefore the American dream is no more. It was fun while it lasted.